Everyone wants to write immersively. We want readers to fall into our books and not be able to put them down. But how do you write immersively?
One element is description. Usually, description is my nemesis, but there are a few key details to writing immersive descriptions that I've learned along the way.
Engage All The Senses
Not just what you can see, but what can you hear, touch, taste, smell?
Below is an excerpt from a story in my Divine Dread collection, with the sensory details in bold:
His first life was spent as a shepherd in the rocky hills of the Judean wilderness. Every day he wrapped himself in his wool sash and armed himself with a bow, hunting for his dinner while looking after his sheep and goats. Nights were spent drinking, chiefly, and watching his fellow man with a critical eye. Lying on his straw mat underneath the canopy of stars, the god-shepherd would listen to the sounds of life around him. The bleating and braying of animals. The moans of lovemaking. The rustles and snores of the sleeping.
Don't Use Filter Words
What are filter words? In the sentence, "I could hear thunder rumbling," the filter words are "I could hear." Instead, try something like, "Thunder rumbled in the distance." Readers don't need to be told that your character is hearing the thunder.
Include Details
Let's look at that excerpt again:
His first life was spent as a shepherd in the rocky hills of the Judean wilderness. Every day he wrapped himself in his wool sash and armed himself with a bow, hunting for his dinner while looking after his sheep and goats. Nights were spent drinking, chiefly, and watching his fellow man with a critical eye. Lying on his straw mat underneath the canopy of stars, the god-shepherd would listen to the sounds of life around him. The bleating and braying of animals. The moans of lovemaking. The rustles and snores of the sleeping.
It's the little details that bring a story to life. Take the mat. I could have simply said he was lying on his mat. But adding that detail about straw brings it just a little bit more to life.
The hills aren't just hills; they're rocky hills. The sash is wool, not cotton, not silk.
If you're struggling to come up with details, do your research. My god-shepherd above is based on a real Judean shepherd.
Think Like a Cinematographer
If it helps, picture your scene like a movie. What details would the camera linger on? What would the establishing shot look like? How would you stage the scene?
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